----- chapter 2----The beginning------ As he scales the fucking jagged peaks of mount gnar gnar, Angel calls to his pet baby bigfoot Gucci. "Ay Gucci!" barks Angel, blunt in lips, "wuddup!?!" The baby bigfoot curtsied. "ssssssup, lemme hit dat blunt boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy." All of a sudden, the instrumental for Lil Wayne's lollipop came on the computer speakers. "awww fuck," said jolly jeff, "hot beat, clap." The beat was so dope that our co-authors had to take a break and each take a meditative bong hit to focus themselves. But then a-milli dropped and Jeff said he had to get ready for class… angel was climbing and shit…baby bigfoot swag, blunt sesh… "ayyy gucci" muttered angel. "yea" said the baby bigfoot only the size of a golden retriever" "aight look, right before we left you took my ace of base tape." "fuck you, thats my shit and bitches can't be stealing my ufkcing shit fuck u" Gucci pulled a shank, and shot a mean glare at Angel. "A millionare bitch i don't care you suck more dickthan a tulip shaking on his 2 hips. gucci doosy does it, creme you like some cool whip, gunshot dragon boy fucks with the music. bitch i breath fire out my nostrils pinky glisten like a pdiddy girlfriend stuntin ass on christmas. How you trying to talk tapes on meangel when you eat all m y checkers like you trying to fix the game , I'm sick of your stunting lasagna banging bitches and cocaine, with diamond mousetrap and ruby on your wallet chain I'll kill you if you ever try to blame an ace of base tape fuck you" "Gooch you aint even rappin" Right as Gucci is bout to stab Angel with his toothbrush shank, a FUCKING big ass DRAGON flies down from out of FUCKING nowhere, breathing crazy big ass flames like he's in some sort of carzy impotent dragon-bro rage. "OHH SHIT!" scream Angel and Gucci, blunt drops. Funkmaster flex flies in on a crazy stage, blasting air-raid sirens, poppin crystal, confetti: "LEETTTTTSS GETT ITTTT OONNNNNN!!! YO I WANNA SEE A DOPE FIGHT, GUNS AND NUNS, SHANKS AND TANK, NO LASERS AND NO DUBSTEP ATTACKS" Whoah, Jeff is like dancing or something. Baglady takes a bong rip. They go into town. Dragon novel sesh tomorrow? |\ /| , \'._ , , _.'/ , |\ {'. '-`\, ,-._**_.-, ,/`-' .'} /| \`'-'-. '.`\ \*____*/ /`.' .-'-'`/ ,'-'-._ '. ) ) /` `\ ( ( .' _.-'-', |\'- _ '. , / / /""\ \ \ , .' _ -'/| \'-. . ; ( \_|^ ^|_/ ) ; . .-'/ `'--, . ; {`-. \__/ .-'} ; . ,--'` '--`_. ; { ^ \ _| |_ / ^ } ; ._`--' `,_.-- ; { ^ `-'` `'-` ^ } ; --._,` ,_.- ; {^ / \ ^} ; -._, ,_.-`), /\{^,/\\_'_/\_'_//\,^}/\ ,(`-._, _.'.-` /.' \ / `.\ `-.'._ ` _.' ` \ / ` '._ ` .-'. .'-. .' `` ^ '. / ^ ^ ^ ^ \ | ^ ^ ^ | /^ ^/ \ ^ \ \,_^_/ ^ \_,^./ /=/ \^ / \=\ __ /=/_ | ^| _\=\ __ <(=,'=(==,) | | (,==)=',=)> /_/|_\ / \ /_|\_\ `V (=| .' '. |=) V` V / _/ \_ \ V `"` \ / `"` \(

Chapter 3----- the crazy action movie scene battle thing------ `don't even think about it" says tom "right now?" says sean. He's ddrunk "its a battle between some dragon and some bro, What happens?" "afanwieubnzlkjbk" baglady laughs "mhmmm" sean baglady laughs "dude do you need a bon grip, ill give a bon grip of the purple if you want to help us with this." jeff. "ashumtrauooo" mumbles sean "what" the roommates are having some kind of hipster orgy outside. who;s bulldog is that battle scene????---- "so the dragon has breathing fire thats so hot it melts the armor off of angel. 'fuck, I have no armor' BUT ITS OKAY CUZ HES LIKE A WIZARD. casts a magic spell. he casts a magic spell that ability to see 10 secs in the future so he can tell that the dragon is gonna splayt him with his fist, so he cuts off the dragons hand cuz he can tell the dragons gonna get him cuz he can see 10 secs in the future BUT the dragon is like magical regenerative thing that can like regrow his claws and shit," says tim. "i like it," says lil jeffy. bong rip ensues. "I'm probably gonna head home," says sean, too drunk to put his jacket on right " make some sauerkraut" "pickle some almonds?" inquires jeff "yeah, " says sean "fuck brennan, gotta get some more bugs from him." "i feel like everyone works at the coop secretly." "huh?" asks tim beer drama. "man I'm drunk," says big sean. " cheers guys." roommates are fucking in the living room. mayo lube. "man im paranoid" no. lazy bear weekend. what? . ..... .' '. . . : : ' ' ,.*====. '. .' .====*., .-`"/c)}}}, :...: ,{{{(c\"`-. _.-'-6> {{{{{'''` `'''}}}}} <9-'-._ t |}}}}}} {{{{{{| y \__.___.'{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}'.___.__/ `[__/}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{\__]` {{{.' `'-._ _.-'` '.}}} }}/ ``` \{{ {{| |}} }}| |{{ .------{{{\ , , /}}}------. //.--------' ; ; '---------.\\ ((/// _ \ / _ \\\)) (((--' `''-------'`'"'-----'"'`'------

chapter 4 - the fuckening "guccccccci is mh name, pumping is my game, all the elf bitches on my dick what the fuck bitches" Gucci sucks at rapping "gucci, you on some like, cappadonna ass lil wayen ass paulsimon ass sackofjewwea ass spring wakening shit." _-- tim has a really good idea... the night was young, all the village people of the mountain, which gucci and angel were climbing, were listening to solange and doing cocaine. betwixt the commingling of flesh and drugs and fuckin hot ass club beats, our weary travelers sought to find refuge. angel found the nearest 7-11 and asked the clerk wuddup with mountain town life and where to find a dank place to sleep. "welllllll if ya give me 15 bucks," gurgled the clerk, " i'll fuckin hook ya up with snot only a place to sleep but some fuckin beeats headphones by dre. hella used but good shit." "sounds like a bargain," yelped angel. "suck mah deeeeiiick," fucked Gucci. After his 14-hour graveyard shift, the clerk led Angel and Gucci to the middle of a forest, where there was a giant fucking statue of a big-tittied dragon mermaid breast-feeding a marbled Obama. shit got weird british rockstars started raining from the sky. That isn't really plot related "freeeeze" the cops BUST IN "TOM, GRAB THE GUNS" yells Jeff. Tom runs down into the tropical missile silo, past the paula abdul shaped door into the grand control room, pulls the red lever. michael bay explosions all over the place. jeff does a mountain of coke, machine guns down 69 DEA agents before shot 14 times in the dome. baglady does 10 years in fed, paroles, resurrects jeff with help of magical beans, continues dragon novel. ___ .~))>> .~)>> .~))))>>> .~))>> ___ .~))>>)))>> .-~))>> .~)))))>> .-~))>>)> .~)))>>))))>> .-~)>>)> ) .~))>>))))>> .-~)))))>>)> ( )@@*) //)>)))))) .-~))))>>)> ).@(@@ //))>>))) .-~))>>)))))>>)> (( @.@). //))))) .-~)>>)))))>>)> )) )@@*.@@ ) //)>))) //))))))>>))))>>)> (( ((@@@.@@ |/))))) //)))))>>)))>>)> )) @@*. )@@ ) (\_(\-\b |))>)) //)))>>)))))))>>)> (( @@@(.@(@ . _/`-` ~|b |>))) //)>>)))))))>>)> )* @@@ )@* (@) (@) /\b|))) //))))))>>))))>> (( @. )@( @ . _/ / \b)) //))>>)))))>>>_._ )@@ (@@*)@@. (6, 6) / ^ \b)//))))))>>)))>> ~~-. ( @jgs@@. @@@.*@_ ~^~^~, /\ ^ \b/)>>))))>> _. `, ((@@ @@@*.(@@ . \^^^/' ( ^ \b)))>> .' `, ((@@).*@@ )@ ) `-' (( ^ ~)_ / `, (@@. (@@ ). ((( ^ `\ | `. (*.@* / (((( \ \ . `. / ((((( \ \ _.-~\ Y, ; / / (((((( \ \.-~ _.`" _.-~`, ; / / `(((((() ) (((((~ `, ; _/ _/ `"""/ /' ; ; _.-~_.-~ / /' _.-~ _.' ((((~~ / /' _.-~ __.--~ (((( __.-~ _.-~ .' .~~ : ,' ~~~~~

chapter 5 ----- i think "fuckin choice," sea zombie jeff. "who are we listening too?" asks Gucci. "what?" yelps Angel. huh? zombie Jeff makes zombie witchhouse beats with iPhone. back to the story. , _, #\`-"-'/ #/ o (o #/ \__ '._ ,_#_# #/ /=/`-. _") '-.`\# #/ /=(_.. `-`. \ `\# #/ -.'`_\\\`_\\\ ; \# #/ '.__.'=\_.' | '-#; _|====\_ ; ' /` `\==| \ \ . \=| / '-.._ // /__ `)-. `----._\ jgs <_________\_\_\

chapter 6 ---dragon novelhumane society - - 8am there was a mama, daddy and baby dragon. and they really wanted to adopt a dog. They spied a chocolate lab, might have been bloody, they didn't notice. It had an awful lot of hair for being a lab. This dog sucked. They just didn't know These dragons are about to be played cue the dog is just not cool. He shits in dark places, and is generally an asshole. "This is a weird mix!" exclaims Jeff, remarking on the inconsistent nature of the songs the dj is currently playing on the college radio station. Dubstep followed by van halen followed by hipster portland hipster bands. "I think they're just playing songs twice." Anyways, this problem dog stars becoming quite a liability for the dragons. Not only does he stain the carpet but this conniving canine has begun prank-texting and is now considered a national security threat. -- onhell-- "gucci" onhell moans "hold the fuck up" gucci hold the crack pipe up to his white lips. The winter has rapidly befallen upon the lush forest valley of Paula Abdul. Crack was the only thing that was keeping them going" ----- onhell fell into a sexual haze flashback Far north of the castles beyond the fountain village of inside of the volcano mountain with the waterfall, lied the white maiden "Petra" Donned in head to toe vera wang riding a silver dragon. "Come on aunnie" the frosted maiden shouted. she was about ten years old, had flowing black hair and yellow eyes. Her three ring were formed much like a gangster ring. her wing membrane was a dark orange color she had a fork or two knifes on her tail tip. "is petra a dragon?" says tom with a wtf type vibe "oh yeah good point" says jeffy fast forward 4 days Bros go to a costume party, eat drugs, come down, and drink coffee while homie "matt" includes us all in his composition of a paper on "orgasms during child birth" so heady Check this shit ____ __ { --.\ | .)%%%)%% '-._\\ | (\___ %)%%(%%(%%% `\\|{/ ^ _)-%(%%%%)%%;%%% .'^^^^^^^ /` %%)%%%%)%%%' jgs //\ ) , / '%%%%(%%' , _.'/ `\<-- \< `^^^` ^^ ^^

---------Chapter 7: Orgasms During Childbirth: By Dr. X Upon searching through the list of material, I was not able to pass up watching a network news show about orgasming during childbirth. Far from the typical content you receive on ABC. I had to check it out. The idea of having a strong sexual experience during childbirth was completely new to me. I personally was birthed in a complete opposite fashion via cesarean section. Being sliced open, and having a nerve blocker on your lower half is hardly most people’s idea of a sexual experience. For many, the thought of orgasming in birth would make many people pretty uncomfortable. The genital stimulation that you are receiving if from your child being pushed out, and could foster fears of incest. Honestly, I feel as if the profound statement was made by the author so who emphasized that there are a variety of ways to give birth. Personally, I’m all for that sentiment. A women should have the right to give birth however they choose as long as it’s safe for her and her baby. Although it’s not a cultural norm, if you can turn a typically horribly painful experience to an orgasmic one, go for it! It sounds like a good tradeoff to me. "

----chapter 8 fun timez Onhell dusts off his maroon shoulder, charmed by the morning. "eyyy goooch, roll one up. Today we canoe down the river of Agarazonomana" " Agarazonomana…… You kray as fuck Onhell" Gucci proclaimed. He was not stoked that much. "we got almost everything we need. Rope, Sleeping pads, food, the canoe, crack, fishing poles, floaty vests, vests, fun scarves, and Evan Wrye" #brudda I'm not trying to fucking get shit not chill tonight auntie. you trying to go and fuck around not the Agarazonomana, can't we just spliff it and make postesr like usual" " Agarazonomana, We must go down it, Petra is-" "Nukka all you think about is petra, petra, petra, petra. Bro she's great, and dead and shit, so i dunno why your trip pin. She's with god now. Want a line of K" Gucci keeps it real though. "yeah" Onhell said. Onhell then took a righteous line of specialized 'k' which thoroughly fucked him up. "so look we're gonna go down the Agarazonomana. But we really gotta be prepared. You can't just rush out to the Agarazonomana and expect to survive" Gooch is down though. "Call Owen Wilson" Onhell says "no" "neil Simon?" "no" "Gucci mane?" "same Name" "peter parker?" "no" "knutz?" "traveling" "gwen stefani?" "Yeah" "brendan? "nah" "want to get food?" "china?" "yeah" "i think theres some in the first town" They canoe away. ,a_a {/ ''\_ {\ ,_oo) {/ (_^_@\_________________ .=. {/ \___)))*)---------------"` (.=.`\ {/ /=; @/ \ `\{/( \/\ \ `. `\ ) ) jgs \ // /_/_ '==''---)))) &*&G:IYF*^X&RDT:FICHAOTET CHAPTER SIX___IYTCOYKGV___ AgarazonomanaRIVER {(P*&FP^DOXRYC '-~ { / ) \___/ ( \ |` ` _ ~~ ' \ -~\ -<__/ - - L~ -; \\ \ _ _/ `` ~~=\ { : }\ ,\ || _ :( \ ~~=\__ \ _/ \_ / ) } _// ( `|' `` , ~\--~=\ \ / / _/ / ' ( ' \` } ~ ~~ -~=\ _~_ / \ / \ )^ ( // :_ / ' | , _~-' '~~__-_ / - |/ \ ( \ ,_--_ _/ \_'---', -~ . \ )/ /\ / /\ ,~, \__ _} \_ "~_ , { ( _ )'} ~ - \_ ~\ (-:-) "\ ~ /'' '' )~ \~_ ~\ )-> \ :| _, " (\ _/)''} | \~_ ~ /~( | :) / } <`` >;,,/ )= \~__ {{{ ' \ =( , , ; {o_o }_/ |v '~__ _ )-v| " : ," {/"\_) {_/' \~__ ~\_ \\_} ' { /~\ ,/! '_/ '~__ _-~ \_' : ' ," ~ (''` /,'~___~ | / ," \ ~' '/, ) (-) '~____~"; ," , } /,') / \ / ,~-" '~' ( ''/ / ( ' / / '~' ~ ~ ,, /) , (/( \) ( -) /~' ( ~~ )` ~} ' \)' _/ / ~' { |) /`,--.( }' ' ( / /~' (` ~ ( c|~~| `} ) '/:\ ,' ~ )/``) )) '|), (/ | \)

Chapter 10 xxx RIVER RIVER RIVER RIVER RVIER "whoa" Onhell was quite tripped out. "what?" Gucci was perplexed. "check out this tablet I just found in the sand." Apparently they were in the desert. Or the beach? Gucci then proceeded to read Chapter 10 xxx "RIVER RIVER RIVER... OK Facebook Illuminati, "so (here) it goes", a status update you didn't know you were waiting for... What if all the Science Fiction ever written/recorded in popular culture was closer to an elaborate premonition regarding the future state of the planet and it's inhabitance? (from Carl Segan, Philip K. Dick to 'Slaughterhouse 5' to Ridley Scott to 'the X-Files' to 'Ghost in the Shell' to George Orwell to 'X-Men'... ect) and understanding that renewable/sustainable energy, artificial intelligence and practically every other solution to improving the environmental stability of the planet is in existence and would resolve war/environmental catastrophes such as peak oil, global warming, and cultural economic iniquities. Of course it goes w/out saying that the Conservative Christian Capitalist Country would never allow for methods of improving the wellbeing of the planet and people over the profit and power. OK Facebook illuminati... here I am, public enemy no. 1. Prepared to suffer from social suicide again... I can safely say that I have physically inter related with beings from another dimension, and in truth we all have, and yes unexplainable things happen to everyone all the time. Some things are slightly more unexplainable than others. Being called upon to retrieve information from another life form and I speak from experience when I say NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THAT PHONE CALL, yes phone call, as in I'm possessed walking through Old Town Eureka @ 4am, and read a "hand" written cardboard sign, hanging from a street lamp, that reads a 10 digit telephone number, that connects me to a message machine of the sound of an extraterrestrial (that's right ET's on my iPhone!) The sound was a sort of a slightly femme voice. Egg shell chewing, unpronounceable spew about 4 syllables long. I can't really go into too much detail about what happened that night, because so much happened, I watched the astrology of the stars come to life, I saw as a portal in the sky opened up and the 9 faces of the enneagram were formed through the moonlight. As I lay in the grass, staring @ the shifting stars above, through a tiny ring of a metal/crystal key chain shaped like a 6 sided dice, the stars forming in triangles, layers of light above glow white, yellow and red. There's plenty more to tell, really I could (should/will) write a goddamn miniseries. Thing is, this isn't the first time I've had interactions with ETs, and I know it wont be the last. Surly those of us brave enough to experience the shamanic substance DMT and/or Iowaska, can share their tales of existentialism. Regardless if what is experienced on DMT is hallucination or another dimension in reality, it's still your consciousness, and if what is seen is perceived to be real, it is real, even if it can't be proved or validated by science or society. I blasted off @ Shpongle last year, and as I was tripping/vibeing with the music, music basically designed to experience the "Divine Moment of Truth" so to speak--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1jPeG1LlaQ something AMAZING HAPPENED, I reached down to the ground in a deep meditative trance, and I lift up from under my fingernails three unique coins, these coins were not made of a man made substance, the material is made of a slightly copper/slightly brass, very, very light material, as I've worn it around my neck (each coin came with a hole on the inside of the lip right over the engraved Latin language writing, over the past 6 months the inside has turned to a dark green, each coin depicted a different persona, and each were engraved around the outside with lettering written in Latin, the only words I can make out on my coin is "MAX*POT". I watched the three coins formed in front of my very dilated eyes. Excited, wanting to share in the excitement, I quickly give one to Ty Cacao Rhoze who truly appreciates such an unorthodox marvel. After the set I personally delivered the other magic coin to Shpongle (Simon Posford). That night I placed my coin safely on top of my hour glass, reading 'The Book of THOTH' by Alister Crowley, practicing Tarot Cards, and studying Astrology (**which if anyone would like their Natal chart read in conjunction with their Tarot, I'd really appreciate the opportunity to sharpen my interpretative wit, donations accepted**) as I'm waving my magic wand w/a seashell on the tip (an Arcata beach treasure from my favorite mermaid Naiyana Scott) the book starts moving, the cards start moving, I set the intension even more intensely into the card I fear most 'The Devil', repeating over and over the phrase "BURN! IT! DOWN!", close my eyes, reopen, and the card changed to the 'VII of AIR'. W!T!F!, conducting Telekinetic Magic alone in my bedroom? Yeah, That's what I'm into. I read the 'Books of Pagan Poetry & Rituals' for an inspiration. That's what really gets me off, more than anything, Energetic MAJIK! Gosh, the more I write the more memories of Magic and unexplained happenings come up. Honestly, If I could give just an answer as to why these strange and unexplainable things have happened, I'd look at my archetype >>>>>SUN=SAG & MOON=SCO http://alabe.com/cgi-bin/chart/astrobot.cgi INPUT1=&INPUT2=&MONTH=12&DAY=08&YEAR=1985&HOUR=11&MINUTE=37&AMPM=PM&TOWN=San+Francisco&COUNTRY=USA&STATE=CA&INPUT9=&Submit=Submit Sibling of a uniquely immobile DD Adult, diagnosed with FG Syndrome--> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FG_syndrome my brother is a very special person and I love him very much, however him being born the way he is makes me very sensitive and I've worked as a care provider for nearly 10 years. + I've always been obsessed with Aliens, and the Cosmos (I was reading Carl Segan in the 6th grade), Pagan Witchcraft, and the Occult, and Dark Supernatural Phenomenon, and Gothic Industrial/Punk Music, and the teachings of Alister Crowley, and all that creepy freaky weirdo steeze ... ect. Clearly, I've got a lot of work to do. A book to write. More Tarot/Astroogy Readings to trade for Lunch &/or Swag. College of da Redwoods to take ART in the Fall. An album to write, play, sing, and produce, of all original occultist music. A DJ set on the Bass Craft Thursday, April 11th @ Jambalaya Arcata Only $5. Check Savage Henry Independent Times for my music reviews and show previews. Always steezing out World Famous Productions & Phantom Wave events. Promoting for Whomp @ Nocturnum & Deep Groove Society. Working on finding the right channel of distribution for DAT-1's upcoming Vinyl ep 'Depart'. OK Facebook Illuminati, we're not alone in the universe, If you've had cosmic connections with space creations, feel free to message me, I'd really like to get an open dialogue going between those of us who have inter-related with beings of another life force. It can be a frightening experience and feeling as though you have no one who will ever truly understand, it's a daunting catch-22. I hope this has shed some light into the strange and awkward and endlessly entertaining universe that is ________________ ♥ |\ // \\ _!_ \\ /___\ \\ [+++] \\ _ _\^^^/_ _ ,a_a \\/ ( '-' ( ) {/ ''\_ /( \/ | //+\\ /\ \ {\ ,_oo) (* \ / \ / > ) {/ (_^_@\_________________ "` >::::\ / / .=. {/ \___)))*)---------------"` /:::' |/_) (.=.`\ {/nah/=; @/ / /| | \ `\{/( \/\ ( / ( / \ `. `\ ) ) / / \ \ jgs \ // /_/_ _/ / \ \ '==''---)))) /___| /_

* Chapter 12 ____---- PAGE 75 At this point y'all have probably listened to the entire album. Oh which album you ask? The only album that matters. "ted nugent double live". Not really jk.n Anyways, rewind that shit, to the exact halfway point. That is, the halfway point of this great album you're supposedly listening to. Then meditate. Then press play exactly as you start to read this chapter, so go back to the beginning of chapter 12 "page 75". * Here is the rest of the chapter: "Cindy LauPer versus Madonna Cage match Silver lance bad ass versus spikes and blood Madonna with the meanest tits Big guns pop jams Superslam Any Cindy and make her windy. Bitches be tripping, !!!!!!! " - Geoffrey Reigh

Chapter X - THE FINAL SOLUTION Angel swayed back and forth to a 3/4 swing jam floating through the clouds. Extremely dehydrated and somewhat dilapidated, he fell to his knees, no longer able to stand after a decade of scaling jagged peaks and eating mcdonalds and smoking heroin. Our beloved hero clutched the golden ankh around his neck, the very golden ankh his departed Petra gifted him in a very moving and quite necessary but unwritten flashback that was supposed to happen 3 chapters ago. Anyways, Angel is about to give up and die and shit but, miraculously, amidst his dying breath, he noticed something beautiful and gleaming. He had arrived at the Golden Gates. Finally. Finally, after years of turmoil and extreme personal loss and despair and such, after losing his unrequited love to dragons or something, he had reached the place where it all began. Or where it all ended. or something. I don't know. I'm really about to give up on this dragon novel.